woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
