No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
