You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize