I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
