ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
