please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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