Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
false alarm, still single
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
