She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
