you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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