omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
