You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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