butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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