Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
