was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
