Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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