You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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