I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
