Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
