i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
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