I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize