Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
