After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
