so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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