I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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