So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
