So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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