batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
