hotel room ftw
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
