now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dear god my vagina.
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