i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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