In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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