she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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