It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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