God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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