Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
