Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
