I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
