I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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