Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
