i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
