I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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