My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So much rum. So many feels.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
