I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
