It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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