he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
