I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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