who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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