so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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