is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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