marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
