We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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