i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
