We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
