took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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