you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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