Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize