There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
