So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
