How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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