dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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