Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
