WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
