jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
