I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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