don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
